Ahhhh... Christmastime on the Upper West Side! ....not much different than the rest of the city, I suppose, but still great! Trees lit up with white and blue lights, decorations on the streetlights, and a general feeling of happiness and warmth. It really is the most wonderful time of the year.
Except for one thing: the damn Christmas trees. Don't get me wrong, I love a good Christmas tree. But I HATE when they are forced in my face at every turn. With the Yuletide season comes a new kind of panhandler in New York City: the Christmas tree vendor. These seasonal creeps come out after Thanksgiving and bombard the streets with imported Christmas trees. Sure, that's great and all, until Christmas starts approaching. By about two weeks out, these vendors turn desperate: faced with the possibility of having a surplus of goods by Christmas day, these vendors will do anything in their power to sell you a tree.
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| An example of the evils lurking on every corner this holiday season. |
So much so, in fact, that I am now officially a Duane Reade guy, unable to visit my local CVS due to the tree farm on the sidewalk outside. I went to buy some gum and almost left with a 10 foot Douglas Fur. These guys do not take no for an answer. Words of warning: NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT!
So remember a few things when you're buying your tree: find a vendor that isn't a psychopath, and wait til the last minute, since most of them will be willing to pay YOU to take a tree.
But seriously, everyone, from the guy who can find the unfortunate in anything (yes, even Christmas “cheer”,) Happy Holidays!
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